Archive for the 'Romance Impaired' Category

Relationships take work. Much like a goldfish won at a county fair, your relationship needs love and attention in order to survive. Assuming you want it to survive. Without the right amount of nurturing, your relationship and the goldfish will be found belly up by morning.
In the spirit of Stephen Covey and his highly effective […]

We told you that we love musicians, so you went out and started your own death metal band. We claimed to appreciate a good sense of humor, so you brushed up on your "guy walks into a bar" repertoire. We’ve given you reasons to believe that it’s what you know, not what you look like […]

Meet Her Makers

In a perfect world, her family would welcome you into their home with open arms. Having heard glorious praises in your name, they would offer you a permanent invitation to all family functions, where everyone else would rave over you. Her father would allow you to sit in his big papa chair and insist you […]

You may try to beat the odds, but relationships inevitably fail. Sometimes it ends because your partner likes to wear your underwear or insists on using sock puppets as sex toys. But sometimes you can blame it on body chemistry.
Kick off the stiletto heels and cancel the plastic surgery, take a shower instead. Apparently, we […]

Men, I’m about to strip you of the one romantic device so heavily on- those twelve long-stemmed get-out-of-jail-free-cards you call roses.
Once upon a time, roses were a true symbol of romance. Girls dreamed of making love on a bed covered in rose petals, to be showered with them on holidays and special occasions, or to […]

I don’t have to tell you that relationships are tricky bastards (but I have been hinting at it for quite some time). You would have better luck figuring the combination to a bank safe using fortune cookie lottery numbers than unfurling the relationship enigma. Still, off we go looking for the key to everlasting love. […]

Benefits of Sex

If you have an email account (or MySpace) and a cyber acquaintance that feels compelled to forward every hoax, tasteless joke list, and chain letter, then you may have skimmed and deleted the Good Sex chain letter. Like all chains, there is the obligatory threat of horrible things that will happen to you for […]

After months of alternating between brushing up against strangers in social situations and sampling Ben & Jerry flavors at home, you've finally found the love of your life and the man with whom you'll spend the rest of your days. The trouble is, it's two different men.
Being the tip of the love triangle is a […]

Courage. You finally mustered enough of it to call up your latest crush and convince him to take you out for a meal you’ll be too nervous to eat and a movie you have no interest in watching. From the moment you hang up the phone it increasingly seems like a bad idea. You have […]

The Language of Love

If you haven’t been trapped in an elevator for most of your life, you know that lovers communicate in many languages. The general consensus would have you believe that French is the official language of l’amour. Some choose to rely on plain English, while others use Pig Latin to divulge their deepest desires. I prefer […]

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness this couple escape from holy matrimony.
This is it. You took the blood test, angered twelve of your closest friends and family members when you announced your intention to marry, and now 400 of your mother’s acquaintances are sitting in a chapel waiting for you to exchanges […]

The warmer months are here and warm weather seems to bring brides and grooms out of the woodwork to get married. Watching your friends get married is rarely a pleasant experience, especially if you're still single. What's worse is knowing that your friends are getting married and not being invited to the wedding. Even if […]




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